It was just before Christmas and the judge was in a happy mood.
He asked his prisoner, “What are you charged with?”
The prisoner replied, “Doing my Christmas shopping too early.”
“That’s no crime, said the judge. “Just how early were you doing this shopping?”
“Before the store opened.”
You know what you get if Santa accidently comes down your chimney while the fire’s burning?
I don’t know if you knew this, but the post office is extra careful at Christmastime. When a package says FRAGILE, that means they throw it underhand.